Tuesday - December 9, 2008 -

ON THIS DAY

The French government established the very first pawn shop on this date in 1777. As soon as they opened their doors, a customer walked in with a pig, marking the first "ham hock."

In 1792, the very first formal cremation of a human being took place in the U.S. I don't know: I just can't see going through life, then winding it up by making a big ash out of myself.

On this date in 1884, roller skates with ball bearings were patented. They were much smoother than roller skates with rocks in them.

In 1979, the heaviest turkey on record weighed in at 77.25 pounds. His nickname was
"Leftovers."


TODAY IS

Donny Osmond turns 51 today... I believe that's a year for every cousin.

Reiko Aylesworth turns 36 today. She was best known as Michelle on "24" before starting up her car. Then it was her all over.

It's a day for "Desperate" birthdays: Felicity Huffman turns 46 and Jesse Metcalfe (the former gardener Gabrielle was sleeping with) turns the big 3-0.

Golfer Tom Kite is shooting a 59 today.


THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW

· This is no joke -- Jay Leno is taking over the 10pm (9pm central) slot weeknights on NBC sometime during the Fall, 2009.

· 'Tis the season: Brad and Angelina have made a $100,000 donation to a children's charity.

· Britney Spears' first husband, Jason Alexander, has been sent to jail for violating his probation. That was her 55-hour Las Vegas marriage.

· Madonna won a judgment Monday against a British tabloid that she accused of breaching her privacy and copyright by publishing pictures of her 2000 wedding.

· Eli Stone's Jonny Lee Miller and his wife, actress Michele Hicks, have brought their first child into the world, a son: Buster Timothy Miller.

· Forrest Ackerman has died at age 92. An actor, agent and magazine editor, he was credited with discovering Ray Bradbury and coining the phrase, "sci-fi."

· The Jonas Brothers, Taylor Swift and Lionel Richie will ring in 2009 from Times Square on "Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve."

· To fan the Oscar hype, "The Dark Knight" will return to theaters on January 23rd. Yes, it comes out on video today.

· John Malkovich and Hugh Laurie are both going to host "Saturday Night Live" this season. By the way, Amy Poehler returned to SNL over the weekend, for a quick appearance as Hillary.

· In Oregon last Saturday, Scott Napper took his girlfriend out to a local spot on the beach, "Engagement Rock"... but before he could pop the question, a wave crashed on shore and swept her way. She hasn't been seen since.

· John Rich of Big & Rich fame, married his girlfriend Joan Bush on Saturday.

· An original hand-written outline for Martin Luther King Jr.'s first speech condemning the Vietnam War, owned by his friend Harry Belafonte, is going on the auction block on Thursday.

· Shania Twain arrived in New York to do some Christmas shopping, along with several friends from Switzerland... including the ex-husband of the woman who broke up her marriage to Mutt Lange.

FUNNY HA....HA....

What's the dumbest joke you've ever heard? Ron Mlodzik won a Reader's Digest joke telling contest, earning him $3,000. The joke: "A guy is walking down a dark street, when he hears something behind him. He looks behind him and sees a casket, and it's going, ‘dum ... dum ... dum ... dum ... ' and it's followin' him. So he gets frightened and goes faster, and the casket goes faster " ‘dum, dum, dum, dum, dum ... ' So he starts to trot and runs into his apartment building and the casket crashes through the door and comes at him faster, up the stairs... ‘dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum!' He slams the door, and it crashes through his apartment door, so he runs into his bathroom and he slams the door and he hears, ‘dum ... dum ... dum ... dum ... ' and he knows it's going to crash through the door ... then it crashes through the door, and he grabs the only thing he can. He grabs a bottle of cough syrup and he throws it at the casket ... and it stops the coffin!"


WEIRD NEWS

Whoever Heard of a Rich Farmer? - One thing for sure about farmers -- none of them usually get rich. And nobody had any reason to think 71-year-old John Ferguson, who lived in a mobile home on his farm near Black Lick, Pennsylvania, was loaded. But when Ferguson died, he left his entire estate to the Hopewell United Methodist Church -- an estate worth $2 Million bucks! The church has just 80 members. Hopewell pastor Jason McQueen says a panel of congregation members will choose projects to be funded annually from the income generated by Ferguson's estate. (Pittsburgh Tribune-Review)

Dancing, Eating and Sleeping With Wolves - In China, the Qinling Wildlife Park is looking for three very brave souls -- three humans who want to share an enclosure with 36 wild wolves! A park spokesperson says the volunteers will be safe in a tree house 10-feet above the ground. They will spend three full days in the tree house in exchange for $700 and will be equipped with a walkie-talkie. Each are expected to write three 300-word articles, take eight rolls of film and two video clips per day, as well as answer questions from the public online. The 36 wolves in the enclosure are all said to be "very wild" and between three and ten years old. More than 600 people have already volunteered in just two days. (Ananova)

The German Way To Handle Drunk Teens - It just got a lot tougher to be a drunk teen in Germany -- or at least a lot more embarrassing. Teenage binge drinkers are being sobered up thanks to a series of new beer coasters being distributed all over Germany -- coasters featuring pictures of young boozers unconscious in puddles of vomit. Germany is facing a teen binge drinking epidemic fuelled by all-you-can-drink parties where youngsters pay an entry fee and then drink until they drop. One coaster has a picture of a teenage boy, dancing at a party and showing off his muscles to the girls then on the flip side he is passed out after wetting himself. Another shows a girl laughing with friends while the reverse shows her passed out on a picnic table in her underwear. And one shows football fans enjoying a match on one side, but a fan asleep and covered in his own vomit on the reverse. (Ananova)

Christmas Recycling - Here's some innovative recycling. School handyman Chris Reeves has carved a complete Nativity scene using nothing but a pile of old schoolroom science desks from the 60s. The result is a collection of amazing wooden figurines of Mary, Joseph, and Angel Gabriel. Chris says, "I was taught basic carpentry years ago and it's something I enjoy but I'd never done anything quite like this before. I thought the wood was too good to waste so I decided to use it." Ella McCarthy, head of the religious education department at Nicholas Breakspear School in England says, "They are absolutely amazing. He did an excellent job, I've never seen anything like it before and the pupils love them." She added, "We hope to be able to use them again and again and would love to have some shepherds and a donkey next year so I hope there are some more desks lying around." (Ananova)

Assault With a Deadly Cheeseburger! - It wasn't exactly a cheeseburger in paradise. More like a cheeseburger in your face -- and that's what landed 22-year-old Vincent Gonzalez in hot water. In Vero Beach, Florida, Vincent is charged with assaulting his girlfriend-- by shoving a cheeseburger in her face after they got in to a fight in their car while sitting outside a McDonalds. Allegedly, when he would not let her out of the vehicle she retaliated by hurling his drink out of the window. He is then said to have rammed the burger in her face. They both climbed out and Gonzalez apparently smeared it in her face once again. He has been charged with domestic violence. (The Weekly Vice)

Buy One, Get One Free -- CARS! - The buy one get one free gimmick is nothing new to shoppers -- unless you happen to be shopping for a new car! But that's exactly what one Belgian car dealer is doing -- and it's working! Marketing manager Ivo Willems of the company Caroden said the promotion will run until December 15 and customers can choose from a range of new, full-price cars -- the cheapest being a $28,930 Hyundai van -- and then pick a second free vehicle from a selection that goes up to $20,000! Willems said Cardoen was able to run the promotion without losing money because distributors in southern Europe had been so desperate to get cars off their lots that they have been selling them to Cardoen at large discounts. The move underscores how difficult the situation has become for the auto industry worldwide -- not just in America. (Reuters)

Recession = Movies! - They say history repeats itself and it seems Americans are staying true to form in keeping with past recessions and flocking to the movies in record numbers. Mike Campbell, CEO of Regal Entertainment -- one of the largest U.S. theater chains-- said, "We're approximately two-thirds of the way through the quarter, and we are having a very good fourth quarter this year compared to last year as an industry." Movie theaters are seeing double-digit growth in box office revenue and high single-digit growth in attendance so far this quarter on the appeal of films like "Twilight," "Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa," and "Bolt." The movie industry has done well during all the recessions in the past 50 years. Campbell explained, "It is still the most affordable out of home entertainment option." (Reuters)


THE TOP FIVE COMPLAINTS OF MRS. CLAUS

1. You think YOU always have toys left laying around
2. "Red is really just not my color"
3. He only leaves the house once a year
4. He shakes like a bowl full of jelly during everything... am I clear?
5. Keeps tripping over elves

HUNTER'S HUMOR by Tim Hunter

The price of gas is at its lowest level in five years. The first person who says the phrase, 'those poor oil companies' will be asked to leave.

President-elect Barack Obama says that "it's going to get worse before it gets better." He was either talking about the U.S. economy or the crowds at the mall, one of the two...

Bill Clinton says he is open to a role in the Obama administration. I heard he was interested in any position, which is pretty much the common wisdom.

Christmas is just two weeks from Thursday. I'm not hitting the panic button yet... I'm just making sure all the papers are out of the way so that I can get to it when I'm ready.

Tough times at NBC. They laid off 500 folks last week. You can notice a more edgier feel around the network these days. For example, the new slogan for one show is "Screw the cheerleader, it's every hero for themselves!"

Around the network, everyone's saying NBC stands for "No Bonus Coming."


YOU KEEP ME HANGIN' ON

Women who want to hang on to their guys had better forget about keeping the house tidy or whipping up yummy dinners. The key to keeping a man coming back for more is to keep yourself looking good, says a top European fashion model. No man wants to come home to a gal if they look like the maid. Here are some tips to keep a man from straying:

· Flattery is the best policy. Make a fuss over your guy picking out his good points and praising them. Even if your man's a fat blimp, he has to have some attractive feature. "It might be his hair, his smile or his eyes. Tell him he looks great."

· Never chew your nails. Guys may not mention your nails, but they notice them. And the one thing no man likes is a hand with chewed-up fingernails.

· Be careful how you talk. Guys like sweethearts who look like ladies and act like ladies. You might think you're cool letting out a curse word or two, but your man will think you've got no class.

· Makeup is fine, but the late Tammy Faye Bakker look is a no-no. Men want to see the real you.

· If you're single, don't start giving your guy "baby talk." Telling him how much you like kids and how you'd love to have a family of your own is likely to give your man roaming feet. Trapping a man into marriage or a fulltime relationship is fine, but making him feel trapped by talking about kids and family is bound to make him start looking around for a less demanding lover.

· Never tell your man about your past conquests. No guy wants to be part of a long list, especially when it concerns his sweetie. He wants you to look good to other guys, but he doesn't want to know that he's the last in a long line to hold your hand.

· Be sexy, but don't be a tramp. Showing him all the goodies all the time leaves nothing to the imagination -- and a definite no.

· Keep him laughing. A good sense of humor is more attractive than a thigh-high slit in a skirt or really tight pants.

· Being funny will relax him, and make him want to be around you. And don't forget to laugh at his jokes, too.

· Don't be obvious -- even with your special guy. No man likes a woman who over-flirts in public. It makes you look cheap and desperate. You can make your guy know you're interested by giving him quick, meaningful looks and standing or sitting close enough to him that your arms or knees touch. But throwing your arms around your guy and hanging on or pinching his behind are out.


Now on to the good stuff – ROCK NEWS –


METALLICA RELEASES 'ALL NIGHTMARE LONG' VIDEO…Metallica has issued a new nine-minute video for the song "All Nightmare Long" from its latest album, Death Magnetic. The clip, which premiered at Metallica.com, is a weird and creepy mix of animation and what is made to resemble old stock footage. It tells an alternate history story of mutant spores discovered by the Soviet Union and used as a biological weapon to turn U.S. citizens into zombies during the Cold War. The band performed the song itself live for the first time last Friday (December 5th) in Calgary, Alberta, Canada, according to Blabbermouth.net.

Drummer Lars Ulrich told us that because many of the songs on Death Magnetic started life during tour soundchecks, "All Nightmare Long" used to have a very different name: "Most of the pieces of music that we would end up jamming on were basically, the way we would refer to them would be by the city they came from. A bunch of the stuff in the song 'All Nightmare Long,' the whole middle section, that was in a song called 'Glasgow,' because it all came from Glasgow (Scotland). And so there's a bunch of that stuff that just literally, it's just directly correlated to geographical places. That was kind of the easiest way to keep track of it."

Other unusual working titles from Death Magnetic: "The Day That Never Comes" was called "Casper, Wyoming," while "Cyanide" was referred to as "Munich."

Frontman James Hetfield told Sun Media that the lyrical content of "All Nightmare Long" was "an attempt to get back to the H.P. Lovecraft mythos" which Hetfield referenced on the band's classic 1986 track "The Thing That Should Not Be."


PETE TOWNSHEND SAYS THE KENNEDY CENTER HONORS MAY GIVE THE WHO TOO MUCH VALIDITY …Pete Townshend says that the validation that he and Roger Daltrey received at Sunday night's (December 7th) Kennedy Center Honors, may underline the fact that their work on a social level may be done. The Who survivors received honors along with Barbra Streisand, Morgan Freeman, country music legend George Jones, and choreographer Twyla Tharp.

Townshend spoke with The Washington Post and explained that part of his original mission as the Who's songwriter was to give a voice to their social class, saying, "(The British working class) had never been heard. So we created our own language, which was rock and roll. And this honor is the establishment saying, 'We hear you.' And that's a strange thing, because if they can hear us, maybe we don't need to do this anymore. It's like somebody saying to Tupac Shakur, 'Ah, I understand what you're saying.' Well, you're not supposed to understand what he's saying. You're supposed to be f***ing scared."

He's resigned to the fact that the Who are in the odd place of both honoring their history by continuing on and making new history as they record and tour the world: "You can think what you like about me -- I know what I'm doing. I'm in an installation. I'm in an installation called the Who, the installation called the Who is part of a bigger installation called rock and roll and it has a function. When you're finished with it, tell me, stop buying tickets. I'll go back and I'll do something else."

Townshend explained that even without the Who's late co-founders John Entwistle and Keith Moon, he believes that he and Daltrey still embody a powerful creative partnership: "It's not just about the largest numbers, it's about the greatest effectiveness. And I think that, you know, Roger and I together, once the creative work is done, you know, we're a good delivery system (laughs)."

The Who's critically acclaimed multidisc set Amazing Journey: The Story Of The Who was nominated last week for the Grammy Award for Best Long Form Music Video.

Last month the Who's latest video release The Who At Kilburn 1977 debuted on Billboard's Top Music Videos charts at Number One.

The band kicks off the first gig of their three-night stint at London's IndigO2 arena on December 14th.

The Who recently announced that they will return to Australia in March, marking the first time the band has played the continent in 40 years.


DETAILS EMERGE ON NEW BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN ALBUM ..Details are slowly emerging about Bruce Springsteen's upcoming album, called Working On A Dream. Billboard reported that the album's opening track, "Outlaw Pete," runs eight minutes long. Other details on the E Street Band album show that a couple of the tracks -- "Tomorrow Never Knows" and "What Love Can Do" -- both fall below the three-minute mark.

The album features the final studio performances of late E Street organist Danny Federici, as well as contributions from his son Jason, who's also a keyboardist.

Working On A Dream, Springsteen's 16th studio set, will be available on January 27th as both a vinyl LP and a deluxe CD version, featuring a DVD with 38 minutes of behind-the-scenes studio footage taped during the album's recording sessions.

Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band will perform during the half-time show at the Super Bowl in Tampa, Florida on February 1st, 2009. No other live dates have been announced yet. It's still up in the air whether Nils Lofgren, who's recovering from double hip replacement, will be able to make the Super Bowl gig.


DON HENLEY SAYS GLOBAL OVERPOPULATION STILL A MAJOR PROBLEM ..Don Henley says that many of the drains on the Earth's resources can be linked directly to overpopulation. The Eagles leader told The Worcester Telegram & Gazette, "This is somewhat controversial, but I think the Earth needs fewer people. It is a known fact that the planet does not contain enough natural resources to support unlimited population growth, especially with a high standard of living, which is what everybody wants. There are limits and, like it or not, we will have to address those limits, probably sooner than we think."

Henley, who is currently on a break from the Eagles' North American tour, was asked if a life on the road has been worth it for him: "The trade-offs are many: less time with family, less time to maintain friendships, fewer opportunities...to be in nature; a loss of hearing in my left ear, constant neck and back pain, etc. But life is all about trade-offs. You just can't have it all, although some folks try to give the appearance that they do. Am I happy? I'm happy enough."

He went on to say, "My life is certainly not without its troubles and sorrows, but on the whole, it's pretty damned good. I am suspicious of people who appear to be happy all the time. That seems unnatural to me...Basically, I'm happy when my children are happy, but I'm not obsessed with pursuing happiness or bliss at this point. I'll settle for contentment."

Although Henley has become one of the most outspoken political figures in rock over the past 20 years, he says that the Eagles' gigs aren't a forum for anything but music: "We have found over the years that a concert is not necessarily the forum for one's political opinions. We do most of that work separate and apart from our concert tours."

Last week it was announced that the Eagles' latest album, Long Road Out Of Eden, was nominated for four Grammy awards.

The Eagles kick off their next set of dates on January 12th in Hampton, Virginia at the Hampton Coliseum.


That’s it for now, as always, if you can’t be good, be good at it and don’t get caught!!

Jonathan