Friday - June 19, 2009 -

Welcome to the Blog -

Whether we know it or not, each of us lives a life governed by an internalized code of conduct. Some call it morality, others call it religion. I call it “The Bro Code”. It’s my hope that, with a better understanding of the Code, Bros the world over can put aside their differences and strengthen the bonds of brotherhood. It is then, and only then, that we might work together as one to accomplish perhaps the most important challenge society faces – getting laid.

- Barney Stinson – The Bro Code –

THE BRO CODE – Article # 21


“In a 6 person hot tub, there should be a maximum of 3 guys”


ON THIS DAY

On this date in 1905, the first nickelodeon opened up in Pittsburgh. It was very popular among rug rats and people who liked to get slimed.

In 1910, Father's Day was celebrated for the very first time. Back then, in it's early form, it was called "Thou shalt all bow down before me Day." That didn't last long.

On this date in 1934, the FCC was created... and might I just add, what a wonderful government agency it is. Such fine people. Of course, those are the folks who make sure we don't say (BLEEP ), (BLEEP) and especially, (BLEEP), on the air. Who could (BLEEP)-in' blame them?


TODAY IS

Paula Abdul turns 46 today. It's a national holiday back on her home planet.

Kathleen Turner celebrates her 55th birthday today. She got her start in "Body Heat." That was back when she still got me started.

Here's one for you: Phylicia Rashad turns 61 today! Man, I hope I look that good when I'm 40.


THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW

Hillary Clinton was on her way to the White House Wednesday night when she fell and broke her elbow!

Tom Brokaw interviewed President Obama June 5th. This week, he was named to the President's Commission on White House Fellowships.

The Global Language Monitor, a web site that uses a math formula to estimate how often words are created, estimates English now has one million words -- more than any other language.

T.R. Knight will be disappearing from "Grey's Anatomy," as he is being released from his contract.

Billy Joel and third wife Katie Lee are spliting up after five years. In a statement, the pair said that they remain "caring friends with admiration and respect for each other."

Katie Perry is suing an Australian company that was using her name as a clothing label.

Former Dallas Cowboys cheerleader and "Dancing with the Stars" runner-up Melissa Rycroft will appear on "Good Morning America" as a traveling contributor this summer.

It took two calls from Angelina Jolie before fashion designer Malcolm Harris would believe it was really her. He thought he was being Punk'd.

A sequel to "Hangover" is already in the works.

Even though David Letterman's ordeal with Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin gave his "Late Show" a ratings boost, rival Conan O'Brien remained top dog after two weeks as the "Tonight Show" host.

A GPS with the voice of Homer Simpson telling you where to turn? TomTom is now offering it.

According to a new survey, some teens are starting to use their cell phones to cheat on tests in school. They act like they just got a call, but instead, they're checking answers placed on their phone.

David Archuleta's dad was busted for soliciting a prostitute at a massage parlor.

Jane Fonda has had her left knee replaced.

Chris Brown has to appear in court on Monday to find out if charges will be filed from that Rihanna incident.

The Emmy Awards are being postponed by a week to avoid bumping into MTV's Video Music Awards on September 13th.



Guys, ever wonder how to be a husband? Here are 5 steps to being a better husband (from MSN.com)

1. Take an interest in something your wife is really passionate about. This can be especially tough for guys, because we generally feel that if someone else has interests that differ from ours, they're morons. It's not an easy task, and being able to show interest in something that matters to someone you love shows growth -- and that's terrifying. Good, but terrifying. Accomplish this and you'll make her feel better about herself, and you get better insight into what makes her tick.

2. Put the kids to bed. Once a week give her the night off and put the kids to bed by yourself. Let her take a hot bath, read a book, or check gossip on the Web and forget about the kids. I'm always amazed how happy this makes my wife. It ranks somewhere between low-end jewelry and a Hawaiian vacation.

3. Learn to apologize. This is the easiest one, and the hardest one. A marriage is a marathon, and we all fly off the handle too quick or let our temper get the best of us sometimes. When you're wrong, it's best to step up and apologize. It's amazing how fast "I'm sorry" can defuse a stupid argument about something you can't even remember.

4. Thank her for putting up with you. Every once in a while, just thank her for putting up with you. That's all you have to say. Don't launch into a list of your faults, or the story about coming home two days late from that Vegas bachelor party. Just thank her, and let her know that you understand that you're not the easiest person in the world to live with.

5. Clean up after yourself. Take care of that late night snack or morning cereal bowl. Setting them in the sink is one thing, but go that extra mile and actually put them in the dishwasher. After all, no one enjoys scraping bacon dip off a bowl that's been sitting too long or smelling the chili from the night before. A beer bottle on the counter the next morning is even worse.



WEIRD NEWS

Heroic 9-11 Dog Cloned! - A Heroic German Shepherd named Trakr that sniffed for survivors buried under the rubble of the World Trade Center terror attack is no longer with us, but his five clones will continue his heroic legacy of saving lives. Animal cloning company BioArts International has produced five genetic copies of the heroic dog after its death in April and the clones were presented to Trakr's former handler James Symington in Los Angeles. This was the result of an essay contest to find the best dog worth cloning. Symington's winning essay told Trakr's two-day non-stop search-and-rescue efforts at Ground Zero, including finding the last survivor under 30 feet of debris. Sadly, Trakr died in April from a degenerative brain disorder. (AHN News)

Dodgeball Coach Goes Nuts! - In New Rochelle, New York, police say a 58-year-old substitute gym teacher at Daniel Webster Elementary School put a 10-year-old student in a chokehold after the two got in an argument over a dodgeball game! Coach "Anger-ball" was arrested and charged with third-degree assault, endangering the welfare of a child and harassment. According to police reports, the substitute teacher apparently began calling the boy "a big baby" and a "crybaby" after they argued about a call in a dodgeball game. The boy allegedly threw a punch at the sub but missed. The sub then allegedly grabbed the boy by the back of the neck, dragged him across the gym floor and put him in a chokehold when he tried to break free. The boy was hospitalized with neck and back pain. The sub is claiming self-defense. (The Journal News)

Note To Self: You Are Not Invincible! - In Fairbanks, Alaska, 34-year-old Roman Retynski loved to live life on the edge. Unfortunately, he got too close to the edge when he decided to go "car surfing" on the hood of a speeding truck -- a decision that cost him his life. A woman in the truck told Alaska State Troopers that Retynski was driving the night of June 10 when he suddenly announced he wanted to go "surfing" and climbed out of the truck as it continued to move. The woman was left to struggle to get control of the truck which was moving at 60-70 mph. He ultimately went flying off the hood to his death. Roman's mother, Ruth Retynski, said, "He was the daredevil of the family" and that she heard stories from his friends that Roman would sit on the hood of vehicle and lean back on the windshield as someone drove. According to friends, he had done it at least 100 times since he was 15. She added, "He liked to gamble with life. I know when he was flying off the hood, he didn't think he would die, he was just thinking, 'This is going to hurt.'" (News Miner)

Norman Bates Comes To Life - Anyone who's seen the classic Alfred Hitchcock movie "Psycho" will consider this Norman Bates come to life! In Brooklyn, New York, 49-year-old Thomas Prusik-Parkin has been charged with impersonating his dead mother so he could claim her benefits-- for six years. He allegedly wore a wig, thick make-up and old dresses as part of his elaborate ruse to claim over $100,000 in social security benefits and rent subsidies. Prosecutors say it all started when Prusik-Parkin's mother, Irene Prusik, died in 2003 at age 73. Mr. Prusik-Parkin allegedly gave his mother's funeral director a false social security number and date of birth so her death did not show up on government records. Dressed as his mom, he would then collect benefit checks, visit banks and even go to renew her driving license. He now faces up to 25 years in prison. (Ananova)

Obaminoes? - A group of fifth graders at Franklin Avenue Elementary School in Westfield, Massachusetts have used their math skills and a ton of dominoes to honor President Barack Obama and create a giant mural they call "Obaminoes." It utilizes 24,000 dominoes geometrically placed to create a photo of the president. Student Marissa Costa told reporters, "We were the only elementary school to do this and to have a piece of artwork of our 44th president, the only African American president. It means a lot." (AHN News)

Do You Really Want To Be Judged By a Jury of Your Peers? - Looks like the gene pool for those who actually make it to jury duty is running pretty thin these days. Back in 2003, Lisa Strong was hospitalized in Miami for a kidney stone, which was not treated properly. As a result she ended up with massive, life-threatening infections, but by the time her doctors finally got around to treating those, they had to amputate both her arms and legs! Not surprisingly, Strong filed a lawsuit against the doctors in 2005, but the jury in Broward County, Florida just returned a verdict that somehow found all of the doctors completely innocent of any malpractice. Judge Charles Greene was so shocked he immediately reversed the verdict, dismissed the jury and ordered a new trial! (WFOR-TV News)

Bank Managers Don't Make Good Arsonists - In Indianapolis, police have charged 31-year-old Fifth Third Bank manager Dwayne Roberts with arson and theft after he failed miserably in a poorly thought-out scheme to cover up his embezzlement. Reportedly, Mr. Roberts elaborately staged a fire inside a locked vault so that an undeterminable amount of money would burn up, thus perhaps covering his big cash shortage. Unfortunately for him, after Roberts set the fire and locked the vault, he realized he had left his keys inside and could not re-open the vault or lock the bank's doors or even drive home. Duh! (Indianapolis Star)


TOP FIVE LEAST APPRECIATED FATHER'S DAY GIFTS

1. A copy of George Michael's song, "I don't want my Father's Figure"
2. A headshot of Megan Fox
3. A brand-new "Honey-do" list
4. Another finger painting? For God's sake, you're 50!
5. Washing half his car


HUNTER'S HUMOR by Tim Hunter

Billy Joel and his 27-year-old wife have split up. I wonder what could have possibly gone wrong?

It was one of those classic May/A-year-from-this-December relationships.

Those of you who had five years in the marriage pool: you win!

Chace Crawford tops People Magazine's list of the summer's hottest bachelors. IF you don't include the homely ones.

Hillary Clinton was on her way to the White House Wednesday night when she fell and broke her elbow! This could pave the way for development of the first "Pantsuit Sling."


THE OFFICE

A survey of more than 2,000 executives by TheLadders.com reveals that 36% of U.S. bosses have issued a formal warning for swearing, and 6% have actually fired an employee for swearing. The survey also found that 81% of senior executives find a foul-mouthed colleague unacceptable to work alongside in the office. 70% also said they would fire an employee for bad office manners, while 82% said they have given an official warning for etiquette offenses, such as making too many personal calls, talking too loudly or wearing revealing clothing. So what are the top five nos-nos?

Bad language, 38.4%
Excessive workplace gossip, 36.5%
Drinking on the job, 35.2%
Leaving the office without telling anyone, 33.6%
Too many personal calls, 28%

81.2% of employees said they deem swearing in the workplace unacceptable. But what's the absolute most offensive thing an office worker can do to his or her colleagues? 97.8% rated fridge raiders the worst possible offenders of workplace etiquette. Want more?

Eating someone else's food from the fridge, 97.8%
Bad hygiene, 95.6%
Bad habits, 88.2%
Drinking on the job, 85.7%
Wastefulness with paper, 82%
Cooking smelly food in the office microwave, 74.1%
Sneaking peeks at the BlackBerry in meetings, 63.5%


15 CRUCIAL QUESTIONS

Think you know everything about your partner? Glamour says quiz each other on the following:

1. When I turn on the TV, which channel do I usually turn to first?
2. Which of our dates was my favorite?
3. Was I named after anyone? If so, who?
4. What is my biggest fear?
5. Ketchup: on my fries or next to them?
6. Who in my family do I feel closest to?
7. What's my favorite band of all time?
8. What's my biggest pet peeve?
9.Do I shower facing the showerhead or with my back to it?
10. What is my dream job?
11. In what kind of car did I learn to drive?
12.Was I on any sports teams or in any clubs while growing up? Which ones?
13. What's my favorite day of the year?
14. What would I do with a million dollars?
15. What do I love most about you?


AND NOW A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR –


- A pilot flying a Continental Airlines flight 61, from Brussels to Newark died in midair on Thursday, and the plane was landed by two flight officers. The crew and passengers of flight 61 held an impromptu memorial service for the deceased pilot during the flight, until one passenger stood up and screamed, "I've had it with this mother-freaking wake on this mother-freaking plane."


- Sasha Baron Cohen then described British Prime Minister Gordon Brown as "totally gay". That's as opposed to being only partially gay by sticking your naked butt in Eminem's face on live TV.

- Several major Iranian Ayatollahs are joining in opposition to the recent election there. Ayatollah Rafsanjani and Ayatollah Sanei declared their disapproval, and the Grand Ayatollah Montazeri, has issued a statement describing the election results as ones "that no one in their right mind can believe." President Ahmadinejad said, "I believe in them." Grand Ayatollah Montazeri replied, "See what I mean?"

- After he heard Hillary broke her elbow, Bill Clinton wanted to know if it was Hillary's china-throwing arm, and then said, "Man... I thought she had sharp elbows before she broke one."



FIVE LIES EVERY WOMAN TELLS

(from Askmen.com)

1. I'm not mad at you -- Oh, yes she is. In reality, she does care, very much so. What you should do: Save yourself some time and headaches later on by calling her on her real feelings and discussing why she's so angry.

2. I don't mind if you go to strip clubs with the boys -- If this one sounds too good to be true, that's because it is. What you should do: You're probably better off just not going.

3. I'm just not ready for a boyfriend right now -- The truth is, if the woman is single and at all interested in you, she will certainly make the time to date you. It's that simple. What you should do: Let it go. Don't bother letting her know that you see through it. Take the easy way out by pretending you believe her for your own personal dignity, and just walk away.

4. I don't mind picking up the tab tonight. You always pay anyway -- Although this lie doesn't apply to all women, most still do expect men to pay for things, especially if the man asked them out in the first place. They will secretly think that the guy is cheap if he wriggles out of the bill on a regular basis. What you should do: In the early, critical dating stages, don't risk looking cheap.

5. You're the best in bed -- Face it, women tell guys whatever they think they want to hear, just to make them feel good about themselves. What you should do: You shouldn't be asking her to rate her sexual experiences, period. That's just in poor taste.


On to ROCK NEWS –


OZZY OSBOURNE'S MEMOIRS COMING OUT THIS FALL…Ozzy Osbourne's long-awaited memoir will be published in the U.K. on October 1st, according to TheBookseller.com. The book, titled I Am Ozzy, was originally slated to arrive almost two years ago but was delayed twice. Ozzy will do a week-long publicity tour in England upon the book's publication which will include two book signing events. Publisher Antonia Hodgson called the book "fantastic," adding that it was "very much in the tone of his voice, very funny and a very full story."

Ozzy did a cover shoot for the book on Wednesday (June 17th).

A U.S. publication date has yet to be announced.

Ozzy's wife and manager, Sharon Osbourne, published her own best-selling memoir in 2005, called Extreme: My Autobiography. A second volume was rushed out in 2008 after Ozzy's book was delayed.

A documentary about Ozzy's life and career, called Wreckage Of My Past, is due out in early 2010. The film is will be the first release from Jacko Productions, a company started by Ozzy's son Jack.

Ozzy is working on a new album that he expects to release later this year.


ALICE COOPER'S SCARY DADDY MOMENT…Alice Cooper has made a career out of being scary on stage, but he's also experienced a moment or two of fear as a father. Alice, who has three grown children, reminisced to us about the time he caught his then-teenage daughter, Calico, in her bedroom with a boy: "And there's this really good-looking guy sitting on her bed and she's taking a shower. I look at the guy and he knows that I'm gonna... and he goes 'Oh hello Mr. Cooper! Cali and I were just trying on clothes.' And I went 'either this guy is really good or he's really gay. I hope that you're really gay because if you're that quick in order to become gay, getting caught in my daughter's bedroom' and Calico looked at me and she says 'no, we were trying on dresses.' And he was gay and it was a relief to me!"

Alice said that since he's the original rebel, there was nothing his kids could do to top him: "There was no way to rebel because what are they going to do, dye their hair black and wear black lipstick? I invented that, remember? My daughter put it perfectly in her yearbook. She said, 'I couldn't really rebel because my mom and dad were cooler than my friends.'"

Of course, having Alice Cooper for a father does have its advantages: "They got to do things other kids didn't get to do. They were backstage going 'where's Uncle Axel? Where's Uncle Slash?' They knew all the rock stars as 'Uncle' this or 'Uncle' that. 'Where's Uncle Keith? Crazy Uncle Moonie?'"

Alice's three children are Calico, 28; Dashiel, 25, and his teenage daughter Sonora Rose. All of his children have performed in his shows.

Alice is currently on tour in Russia.


AEROSMITH DRUMMER HOSTING WOUNDED SOLDIERS ON SUNDAY…Aerosmith drummer Joey Kramer will celebrate his 59th birthday this Sunday (June 21st) by hosting 20 wounded soldiers as his personal guests at the band's show that night at the Nissan Pavilion in Bristow, Virginia. The troops, who all served in Iraq or Afghanistan, are currently receiving treatment and therapy for their injuries at the National Naval Medical Center in Bethesda, Maryland. Some are amputees, while others have suffered shrapnel wounds, burns, and traumatic brain injuries.

Kramer said in a statement, "I can't think of a better gift to receive on my birthday than to have the privilege of sharing a night of our music with these brave and heroic warriors who have been wounded in the service of our country."

The soldiers are attending the show through the assistance of the local USO chapter in Washington D.C.

Aerosmith's summer tour, which also features ZZ Top, will continue through mid-September.


CROSBY, STILLS, & NASH INDUCTED INTO THE SONGWRITER'S HALL OF FAME…Crosby, Stills & Nash, Jon Bon Jovi and Richie Sambora, the Rascals' Felix Cavaliere and Eddie Brigati were among the 2009 inductees into the Songwriter's Hall Of Fame last night (June 18th) at the Marriott Marquis Hotel in New York City.

Other inductees include: Roger Cook and Roger Greenaway, best known for the songs "Long Cool Woman In A Black Dress" by the Hollies, "You've Got Your Troubles" and "Here Comes That Rainy Day Feeling" by the Fortunes, "This Golden Ring" by Gary Lewis and the Playboys, and others. Galt MacDermot, James Rado, and the late Gerome Ragni, who wrote the groundbreaking Broadway hit Hair, including the standards "Aquarius," "Let the Sunshine In," "Hair," "Easy To Be Hard," and "Good Morning Starshine," and Stephen Schwartz, who composed the score for Godspell and Pippin.

Graham Nash was asked if he ever found it difficult wrapping his talents around David Crosby and Stephen Stills' distinctive styles: "Nah, it's just the way we were brought up writing. My songs are usually about three minues, 'cause I was brought up writing songs with the Hollies, y'know you need your pop songs write before the news. And mine are chopped short and to the point, and get the point across immediately. And David's tend to meander a little, y'know? And his stories are always unfolding as is his melodic chord structures. And Stephen with his Southern blues brings what he brings, y'know?"

Nash was asked what the most important character trait he respects in his partners is: "Trust. You have to trust your partners. You have to trust that they're going to push a song of yours into the right direction. And I have great partners, they're really good at making records. They're really good at recognizing when the chorus should come. It gets worked out, but basically it's trust."

Felix Cavaliere says that when he and the Rascals were coming up, it was not only the stage show, but the band's material that would make or break an act: "When you're a creative artist, you want to create. And obviously when you're trying to sell product, the most important thing, and this is the reason I moved to Nashville, are the songs. At least that's the way I was brought up in the business. It's not the case to today for the current artists, because the most important today is their look and their marketing. In our day the song was the thing."

Ritchie Sambora who was inducted last night along with Jon Bon Jovi, explains that it's the fans of the songs -- not the creators -- that keep a song alive: "Everybody asks, you know they say, 'Well, how does it feel to play 'Livin' On A Prayer' or 'Wanted Dead Or Alive' twenty thousand times or whatever it's been. The interesting thing about a Bon Jovi show, the exciting thing even for me is the dialogue between the band and its audience. Let me tell you something, when those intro chords to 'Livin On A Prayer' come up, that audience goes up a notch. When I open up the riff for 'Dead Or Alive,' those people are (thumps chest where his heart is)... They're right here."

Legendary Motown songwriters Eddie and Brian Holland and Lamont Dozier were honored with the prestigious Johnny Mercer Award. Brian Holland recalled that once their songs clicked with the Supremes and the Four Tops it was only onward and upward for the team: "When we first started getting hit records on them, we were writing songs, and we were asking, 'Well, who can sing this?' But once we locked in and it was a hit, then we knew where you were. Because, before you've gotten a hit record you really haven't established (an) identity, so to speak. Once you get those hit records, a hit record, or whatever -- depending on how big it is -- you really kind of establish a direction at least for a while."

Lamont Dozier says that other Motown songwriters often inspired the team as well: "'How Sweet It Is' came from a previous song that Marvin had -- 'Pride And Joy.' In hearing that, I felt that Marvin had nailed something in his performance. And while listening to that, I sort of got a feeling for a shuffle or a repeat shuffle, whatever you wanna call it, '... Sweet' came about from listening to that shuffle. And I figure, 'Hey, if people like that shuffle by him, let me see if I can come up with another shuffle."

To learn more about the Songwriters Hall of Fame, log on to songhall.org.


BEATLES NEWS ROUNDUP…List.co.uk posted that George Harrison's coproducer and Traveling Wilburys bandmate Jeff Lynne might be finishing up some of the tracks Harrison had been working on at the time of his death. An unnamed source said, "George half-finished loads of songs and often just forgot about them. There is probably an album's worth of material. Jeff and George were very close and worked together a lot in the later period of George's life. He's the right man to work on the material."

Shortly after Harrison's 2001 death Lynne and Harrison's son Dhani put the finishing touches on Harrison's 2002 posthumous Grammy Award-winning collection Brainwashed.

Harrison's widow Olivia said that she wants to issue some more of Harrison's unreleased work: "There are lots of tracks. Some are closer to completion than others and with those I'd ask for help."

Rolling Stone reported that Paul McCartney will record the score for the upcoming film version of his children's book High In The Clouds. The animated feature will be produced by former New Line Cinema founders Bob Shaye and Michael Lynne and directed by The Lion King's Rob Minkoff. Michael Lynne said, "Paul said he would commit to a score of original songs as part of it. Bob and I had never focused on animation in our career, but that got our attention."

McCartney has scored his previous small scale animated projects including Tropic Island Hum and Rupert And The Frog Song, which featured beloved British character Rupert the Bear. In 1978 McCartney recorded an entire album of songs for a proposed Rupert film that never materialized. The soundtrack has been available on the bootleg market for years.

Ringo Starr will receive a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in 2010 according to hollywoodreporter.com. Among the other stars set for sidewalk tributes by the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce will be Russell Crowe, Adam Sandler, Bill Maher, Bryan Adams, the Funk Brothers, Alan Jackson, Chaka Khan, Van Morrison, Marco Antonio Solis, ZZ Top, the late Roy Orbison, Chris Berman, Jon Cryer, Peter Graves, Jimmy Kimmel, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, and Sam Waterston.

Andrea Bocelli and the Cirque du Soleil's Guy Liberte will represent live performance and theater.

John Lennon received his star in 1988 and Paul McCartney was on hand to celebrate George Harrison's star in April.


That’s it for now, as always, if you can’t be good, be good at it and don’t get caught!!

Jonathan